Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Were driving to Orlando right now, im bored in the van as usual. Im listening to Bad Religion - The Empire Strikes First. I don't think I've ever listened to the whole thing through. As a matter of fact there are a lot of Bad Religion albums that I haven't listened to all the way through, I need to change this. I'm talking to Julia on AIM about how much I wish she was here with me. I'll get to see her for a little bit, but then it's off to live my second life once again without her. I want to combine my 2 lives into 1 amazing existence. I would be so happy. The 2 things in my life that make me happy, Julia, and music, just HAVE to clash, it sucks. It's a tired subject at this point, but it doesn't mean that the feelings aren't still being felt. I think we have 2 hours left in the drive. I can't believe last night's show, it has really inspired me to keep trying and made me think that about how and why last night happened. It happened because we kept coming back to Charleston/South Carolina. If we can somehow build a fan base like that in even one more state, that would be amazing. We are definitely trying, I guess it just takes a LONG time. Right now, at this point in my life, and for the rest of it I'd hope, I'm just trying to achieve personal success. Everyone always wants me to make a career out of this and whatnot, which I would love and will always be aiming for, but I want to be doing it for the right reasons more than anything. A lot of people can't understand that. They get on my case about making money, it's always about money. Money does not decide the value of human worth. It may sound like such an obvious statement, but so many people I run into/know just don't get it. I AM PLAYING MUSIC BECAUSE IT'S WHAT I LOVE TO DO, if I just so happen to make a career out of it, that's great, but if it means that me, Julia, and the rest of the band have to spend the rest of our lives traveling the country and playing shows just to survive, so be it. Even if I was a rich and famous rock star that would just mean that I have more obligations to be on the road, so it's the same thing. I am going to end up traveling constantly, seeing new places, and meeting new people for the rest of my life hopefully, and that's fine by me, no matter how much money I'm making, as long as Julia is with me, and I'm playing the music I love. I just want her to get out of debt, give up on normality with me, and be with me for every moment in our brief lives. We can't get these days back, we have to live for today. Sounds like youth crew lyrics.
Tonight's show was better than I expected. We played in some art studio/venue with a skate ramp outside of it. There was like 40 kids there. I was really tired during the set because I hadn't eaten anything all day besides pop tarts. There really isn't much to update about today. We spent most of the day driving and the show was just a show, nothing crazy/that cool happened, but I had fun playing. We got pulled over when we tried to help these 2 guys move their car that broke down in the middle of the street because when we went to pull to the side of the road to help them, we realized that we had turned onto a one way street, head on towards a cop. He let us go without a ticket though, so that was good. I'm really fucking exhausted right now. We are driving to Gainesville, Florida to stay with someone that we know, im not sure who though. I can't stand sitting in the van.
Posted by Jason Tankerley at 2/17/2009