Saturday, May 2, 2009

Beam me up 'cus I can't breathe

Maybe I should update this.

I don't do anything besides sit in my room, and I like it that way. The only time I really ever leave my bubble is to eat or make music. However, I did go to the Bridgewater Triangle recently, that was cool, but of course the one time I choose to go out and do something, I get reminded almost immediately as to why I like to remain in this bubble. I can't stand everyone, and you know, it's probably better that I don't associate with anyone anyway, because my negativity and dislike for their character flaws will only cause stress in both of our lives, so fuck it. Every single stressful situation in life is caused by someone else having a problem with something about you. It's hardly ever something that you did that pisses you off. So, the less people I know, the happier I will be.

Also, I can't remember if I wrote about this recently or not but, I don't think I care if people think I'm an asshole anymore. I'm not going to beg and plead for it anymore, just fuck it. It sounds like common sense, but I'm just going to say and do what I want whenever I want. Fuck it. I keep thinking that lately: "Fuck it". Nothing is fun anymore, it seems like I don't get thrills from anything anymore. I just want to have that liberating feeling of going in front of a crowd and saying all the "wrong" things, and not giving a shit about what they're going to go home and say on message boards. I almost want to intentionally say the things that would piss everyone off, whether I actually believe what I'm saying or not, just as a way to say "fuck off".

I haven't updated this in a while, but I wish that I had been. Nothing that eventful has been going on in my life that Twitter can't handle, but it's just nice to sit down and type out what you're thinking in a long winded manner. I'm back to being on a nocturnal sleeping pattern. I just can't help it, it just happens no matter what. Every time I come back from tour, within 2 days I'm staying up until 8am, and waking up at 4pm.

Lately I've been recording at Mike's house. I've been slowly working away at completing a recording of MY first complete piece of music. Besides "Invasions", which doesn't count because it's just an instrumental song based around 1 single riff, this will be the first time I've written a song all by myself. I would LOVE to continue to do this from now on. I want to be one of those people that just has albums and albums worth of material that they're just sitting on, waiting for the right moment to release each song, like Prince. This song I'm working on right now is called "The Shadowlands". I'd like to go into detail as to what it's about, but, for the most part, I don't like to make my song topics public. I feel that the lyrics should speak for them self, whether that be my interpretation, or the listeners. I came up with an idea for a song the other day that I'm pretty excited about. The song called "Valhalla Radio". It seems like every time I hang out with Matt, our conversation leads to me coming up with artistic ideas that I really like. That's where the title "Invasions Of The Mind" came from. So far on "The Shadowlands", I have drums, guitars, and keyboards done. I started on bass the other day, but only completed one part. I am trying to record as much of this song by myself as I can. I can play guitar and bass well enough to get good takes after 600 attempts, and I can sing well enough to get one good take out of 6,000 attempts. So hopefully it's sooner than later that I complete this song. I really only want to record it so that I can listen to it, and know that I did it all by myself. I want it to become an Energy song, which it probably will. I don't see why not. I wish that the recording industry wasn't so stupid, where I couldn't just include this exact recording somewhere on our next album. That we will have to re record it to fit the sound of the album. I'm for the idea of an album having a uniform sound, but I'm also for the idea of going into different studios (which is what this is) and getting different sounds. If there are a few songs on an album that sound completely different, so what. Who gives a shit. I could see if it wasn't as loud as other songs or something basic like that, but I think that this specific song, has a specific feel, and Mike's basement captures it perfectly. But hey that's just me...

I have been REALLY into this song lately:

Apparently they didn't want that stupid chipmunk intro in the song, which I don't blame them, but the evil advertising bastards said that it was the only way they would ever become popular, so they left it in the song. I believe it was a DJ who accidentally played part of the song at the wrong speed one time, who suggested it. Great melodies, great lyrics, just a great song all around.

Julia and her sister are at Julia's other boss' house watching her dogs while she's away, so I won't be seeing her all weekend. So this is pretty much going to be a shitty weekend for me, especially seeing as I don't even have a car to drive to Mike's and work on my song.

An overall quick summary: I'm really, really depressed lately, and I'm pretty sure I know exactly why, but as usual, it's many, many different things.


A lot of the time I feel like when I talk about these things, people can tell that there's actually substance behind what I'm saying/writing because I'm clearly not trying to impress a girl, or vaguely hint at wanting a girlfriend. What I'm saying is exactly what it is.
Because let's face it, that's all most people's "writings" are, are really generalized, cryptic ways of letting a girl know that they are lonely and that they want said girl to approach them and initiate a romantic relationship. I'm not saying that that isn't a real issue that people deal with, but it seems to be the ONLY issue that EVERYONE ever talks about. Myspace should somehow put a filter on every bulletin containing an open "hangout" invitation, and change it to something like "Not only do I not have the confidence to approach you in real life, and let you know that I am interested in you, but I can't even do it online without making it coded beyond recognition."

I'm sorry, but I just can't take anything anyone says seriously, because every single action, that every single person takes, is just them trying to get laid. I know that I'm not pathetic like that, so I guess that's at least ONE thing to not be depressed about. The internet can make so many people embarrass themselves so badly.



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