Wednesday, May 6, 2009


"Yes" is generally what I put for a title when I can't think of anything else.

I am not wearing any makeup, my eyebrows look like shit, and I need a haircut.

My Mom bought me these online the other day:

Not the red ones, but 2 pairs of the black ones. The pants that I have right now have huge holes in multiple places, so this is awesome. She also bought me some more shoes as well. I always get the same exact pair of shoes every single time. I like all black shoes, and I hate having to tie my shoes. So if all black Vans slip-ons are clearly the best choice, why change? If I had the money though, I'd get all kinds of different shoes just to switch it up, but since I am so poor, I can only get what comes my way, which is one pair of new shoes every time mine start to fall apart. No complaints there. And when I say "falling apart", I actually mean it. I literally duct taped one of them back together while I was on the Defeater tour.

Here is what they look like right now:

Pretty bad.

Tonight I went to Mike's and we toyed around with different drum ideas. Yesterday around this time I went for a walk around Stoughton and came up with a melody for the chorus that I like. I then proceeded to write some lyrics to it in my head. I need one more line to have the lyrics for the verse and chorus done. There may be more spots in the song that need lyrics, but I'll decide that once I record everything that I already have so that I can get a better idea.

Yesterday I burned a hole in my air mattress with my hair straightener, so now I'm sleeping on the floor. I think Julia and I might try to find a patch kit for it after she gets out of work today. I wanted to go for a walk again this morning, but it was raining so I couldn't. I really like going for walks. When I'm alone on a walk, I think about a lot of things that I wouldn't have otherwise, and when I'm with other people, things are discussed that otherwise wouldn't have been. I like going for walks around Stoughton especially. On tour it's good to get away from everything, but at home it's good in a different way, it's hard to explain.

Speaking of tour, I leave for another one in 9 days, this time it's with The Mongoloids, and the tail end of it is with a band called "The Wonder Years". I have never heard "The Wonder Years" before. I'm pretty sure they're a pop punk type of band so I guess that's good that we aren't going on ANOTHER tour with all hardcore bands. I don't like most pop punk, but at least we won't be the only band that has melodies. I don't like most hardcore either. I just can't really think of many newer bands that I like. All of my favorite bands are either broken up, or have been around for 10 years or more. The only hardcore bands that were left that I liked were Modern Life Is War and Go It Alone, and of course they both broke up. I am excited about Jesse Michaels' new band "Classics Of Love" though. This picture of them playing gives me at least a LITTLE hope in the underground music scene:

I'll stop there because there's no point in going any further on the topic of music being terrible nowadays. I talk about it WAY too much.

Back to tour. Another tired subject, but I am not really looking forward to it for the same reason I'm never usually looking forward to it. Julia and I started dating June 15th 2002. We have lived with each other on and off ever since. I will never be happy until I can spend every single day with her. Every single day that I'm gone on tour is so hard because of this. Don't get me wrong though, I really am looking forward to constantly rushing around, eating terribly, getting zero exercise, personalities constantly clashing, sleeping on floors, temperature extremes, spending hours on end in a van every single day, listening to horrible band after horrible band every single night, having absolutely no time to get the point. BUT, music is the only thing that I believe I'm any good at, and it's what I have the most fun doing, so I'm going to just keep working at it until hopefully some day I can bring the aspects of home that I miss so much, on the road with me. That's all I'm going to say about that.

Along with that comes the fear I have of the idea of conventional "success" get into my subconscious too much, and having an effect on my art. I NEVER want to be trying to "write the song that will pay the bills". I want to always write the music that I would want to hear, and IF that somehow eventually works out well financially for me, then so be it. Ever time I sit down to write, I have to shut that out, and concentrate on what the 14/15 year old version of myself would have wanted to hear:

There's an interview with David Grohl where he says something along the lines of "I didn't start playing the drums as a career choice, I started playing because I love music." I didn't learn how to play the guitar and sing so that I could someday be secure financially, I started because I was so inspired by music that I wanted to someday create my own. I looked for a while for the interview, but I can't find it.

I just came back from picking up Julia and she's off to work now. She just brought to my attention that I probably enjoy going for walks so much because it allows me to relax, while at the same time giving me the sense of structure that I need at all times in my life. I don't ever just sit around and relax, EVER. Even when there's nothing to do, I just sit in front of this computer and waste time on the internet. I never just sit somewhere and relax. I don't know why, but I just can't imagine myself doing that. It's like "OK, next I would like to sit right here and do nothing for a while.", I just can't do that. I need to be doing SOMETHING. Julia also just told me that we're going to Grasshopper tonight. I am really looking forward to that seeing as I didn't eat anything besides potatoes and Oreos today. I seriously just heated up a few whole potatoes and at them as if they were apples or some kind of fruit that you eat by hand. Overall, today was pretty uneventful. Julia has the next 4 days off from work and I am still working on the recording of my new song. That's pretty much all that's going on in my life right now, and that's just fine. Actually, it's my ideal situation to be in: writing and recording music, and hanging out with Julia.

I'm going to end this entry here only because I feel that it's getting too long.

P.S. though:

I added different icons on the sidebar of this blog. I even added an iChat one so that you can IM me straight from this page. I think it's pretty cool. Ok I'm done.

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