Saturday, February 27, 2010

I don't mind the pain

It felt good to take a day off from making music today/tonight. Today I woke up, hung out with Julia for a while, went to Mike's with Dave, then came back to my apartment and watched Bullshit with Dave. He left a while ago and now I'm just sitting around waiting to get tired enough to fall asleep.

I just uploaded some more photos to my European tour journal entry, you can see them by clicking HERE.

They are for the show we played on December 8th, 2008 in Kassel, Germany.

We have a show Monday live on 91.5 FM WUML. Tune in if you live around here, if not then hopefully they have a live feed at: I'm not sure if they will or not though. We're supposed to do a Children Of The Night set as well as an Energy one, but for some reason I doubt we'll get our shit together just by practicing for 1 or 2 days. I hope it's not too big of a deal if that happens. I also hope that I sound alright. The last radio thing we did didn't have much reverb on the vocals at all, leaving it sounding very, very dry. I've heard a handful of recordings from other bands that have played there though and the sound is a lot better. I wish our WERS set sounded better because I would have already posted it online for download...but it doesn't, so I didn't.

I really wish I had access to a gym still. I have put on a lot of weight in the last year or 2, which I'm extremely happy about, but I could be utilizing this weight gain in a far more constructive way. I've been doing pushups every day, and crunches here and there, but it's not enough. That's one thing that my old apartment had over this one - a personal gym. I could go downstairs and use the gym at any hour and play whatever music I wanted...which was usually just Rollins Band. Mike gave me some video called P90x or something that is supposed to be really intense, maybe I'll start that tomorrow. When I get really into working out I constantly feel the need to do it more and more, but when I fall into a slump, it is extremely hard to get out of it. From not touring for a while, I haven't been sweating my ass off and getting an intense cardio workout every night from singing, so this is leading me to believe that I'm in the worst shape I've been in in a while. Whatever, I just need to change it. There is no sense in complaining about something if I don't do anything about it.

I just found this picture of me feeding a cupcake to C at Chain Reaction on 11-16-08 from the tour with H2O that we did.

I hope we get on another big tour like that for our next release. When we did that tour Joe and I complained so much about how no one liked us, but looking back it wasn't so bad. I can't really see why we complained so much. I feel like it's like that a lot though: we'll complain a lot, but then look back and say it wasn't so bad. That's probably because in the past year things have gotten progressively worse for us though. The tour with Defeater was REALLY good, then every tour after that was worse than the one before it. I think we made as many fans in the scene we were playing to as we're gonna. I think it's time to release something new, and branch out. I also hope that we do a music video for one of our new songs. I feel like releasing a music video online is GREAT promotion in this day and age, not to mention it would just be a lot of fun.

I was thinking earlier today about how I haven't really been depressed lately. For as far back as I can remember, I would slip into horrible bouts of depression and not be able to get out. I don't know what it is that has made this not happen in a while, but it's nice. It's nice to not completely break down and feel nothing but pain once a week at least. Instead though, I feel like it has been replaced with disgust, anger, rage, and disappointment.

I can look back at the lyrics I wrote for Punch The Clock and say that they were generally themed in sadness, regret, and wanting to get out and live my dreams of being in a band. With Invasions Of The Mind it was more just sadness, fear, and hopelessness. Maybe I got it all out of my system. I can still sing those songs with conviction because I can remember what it was like to feel that way, but I don't really feel that way anymore. I think that the new Energy E.P. is going to be a step in a darker direction. Darker in the sense that we've seen the evil's that the people in this world are capable of, and confident that we will never go down that path. I feel like the last 2 releases were more of wild, uncontrolled emotion that I didn't know what to do with other than get it out of me, while the new material has more of a direction and a message to it. I'm speaking lyrically of course. That could also be due to the fact that this is the first time I've allowed another member of the band to come into the lyrical aspect of writing. I've been writing lyrics with Mike for Children Of The Night for a while now, but this is something else entirely. I feel like Mike refines all the raw ability I have into the perfect representation of what I'm capable of. I think when left to my own devices, I'm not able to show that. At least not at this point in my life.

I can't believe how much I've grown to hate almost every person I encounter. I don't really even care if I meet another new person for the rest of my life. That might sound mean, sad, or exaggerated, but it's just how I feel right now.

I'm going to stop this now because it's getting too long and I have to finish uploading photos to the Energy Facebook before it gets too late. I want to try to spend most of the day with Julia today.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Watching Mike record scratch guitar

I'm sitting here at Mike's watching him record scratch guitar tracks for the new song. It's pretty boring to sit through, but it has to be done. Earlier today I felt better than I did the day before, but later on I started feeling a little sick again. I think it's going away though. We have to practice Saturday and Sunday because of our radio show on Monday. We haven't even practiced all the Children Of The Night songs once...hopefully that's not a disaster.

Earlier today Julia got me Town Spa which is always awesome. We watched The Office, Seinfeld, and Family Guy, then she went to bed.

The new Danzig album is going to be called "Deth Red Sabaoth". I can't wait.

Mike just finished, so I'm going to stop typing now and possibly start recording vocals.

Monday, February 22, 2010


I just got back from Mike's house where we mapped out the drums for the new song. The name of the song is going to be "Secrets", and it is already one of my favorite Energy songs. If we keep writing awesome songs like this, the new Energy album is going to be insane. I already know that it's going to be our best material yet.

I caught a cold from either Mike or someone that went to Mike's. I really hope it's gone by the time we do our radio show on March 1st because if it's not, I can't even really see any point in doing it. "Hey, tune in and hear me sound like I'm sick." I'm sure it will be fine by then, but I always get nervous about stuff like this.

Well, I just wanted to make a quick update before I went to bed. Hopefully I can continue to make updates on a regular basis from now on.

Sunday, February 21, 2010

I never know what to write here

On Thursday, February 18th, I went to Mike's house like I do almost every night. At one point Mike started playing this descending chord pattern while humming a random melody. I told him I liked it, and that we should run with it. Last night (the 20th) we completed the song. It's not that the song came particularly easy to us, we just worked really hard during a short amount of time and got things done. I want to do that more often. Both of us are fully capable of writing music and melodies with ease, and although writing lyrics is time consuming, we get it done when we put our minds to it. I really like how the song came out too. The verses and chorus have kind of the same feel as "Walk Into The Fire", and the bridge is really heavy and aggressive. This will be a fun song to perform live. We're not sure what the name of this song will be, so I won't post the lyrics just yet. I think we're going to start recording a demo of it soon.

Today Julia and I went to Grasshopper which is always good. We sat next to some idiot hippie girl that talked in a whiny, slow, measured, way that just cut right through everything. The place was packed so it wasn't as obnoxious as you'd imagine, but it still sucked. After that we went home, watched T.V., and then Julia went to bed. I just got back from Mike's a little less than an hour ago. Eric, Roe, and Dave were there. We laughed a lot and watched Charles Manson interviews for a while. I hope I wake up somewhat early tomorrow so I can spend Julia's one day off with her. On that note, I'm going to end this.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Happy Birthday Julia!

Today is Julia's birthday. I haven't gone to bed yet, but I think at this point I might as well stay awake until she wakes up so I can wish her a happy birthday before she goes to work.

The other night we played our first show in almost 3 months in Providence, RI with Four Year Strong. It was also our first show with Mike. I though we did pretty good other than a few minor things here and there. We also got to debut a brand new song called "Walk Into The Fire":

Mike fixed up the audio and made an mp3 of it that sounds significantly better than the audio in the video. You can download that by clicking HERE.

Here are the lyrics:

Energy - Walk Into The Fire

Do you ever feel diseased?
Believing in a liar?
Get up off your hands and knees
And walk into the fire

See you sinking like a stone
Hold your head up higher
You will reap what you have sown
Walk into the fire

This is how you find the way
Turn the night into the day
This is how you find the way
Turn the night into the day

Walk into the firelight
Through the darkness burning bright

When your truth is only lies
And evil your desire
Will you choose your own demise
Or walk into the fire?

Everyone you've ever known
Is walking on a wire
Can you make it on your own?
Walk into the fire

This is how you find the way
Turn the night into the day
This is how you find the way
Turn the night into the day

Walk into the firelight
Through the darkness burning bright

I can't wait to actually have this song, and others recorded and released on an album. Now that Mike is in the band, we are just on a whole other level of songwriting. Mike pushes me to my limit and makes me the best musician I am capable of being, and he himself is capable of writing some of the best songs I've ever heard, never mind sang on. There is just something special about what happens when Mike and I get together and create music. I can't even put it into words. People don't even know what's in store. Everything Energy has done in the past is nothing compared to what's ahead. I'm not putting down my previous accomplishments, but this is something completely new. If we got as far as we did WITHOUT him, I can't even begin to imagine where introducing his talent into the group will take us.

I just wish we could be a little more efficient with writing. We both have all the time in the world, but can't seem to churn out songs fast enough. One thing that would help a LOT would be if I had a car during the day and could make it over to his house while everyone else is busy, that way we could actually get some serious hours in dedicated to writing and creating. Most nights, there are at least 1 to 3 other people there, which makes it very difficult to write and/or get things done.

Now that we have a computer set up in the apartment, it's a lot easier to get stuff done online, so hopefully that means I'll update more often. I love having this apartment and I love having it with Julia. I know that I am a very, VERY lucky person, for many reasons, it's just that sometimes I forget how much worse my situation could be, and every once in a while I need to remind myself that I have almost everything I want in life, and to take a step back and appreciate it.

I love being me.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Thursday, February 4, 2010

At Mike's, 3 hours into consciousness

I feel like a lot of my entries are starting with this but...I haven't updated this in a while. I think I might start updating more once Julia gets her computer Friday. I just woke up a couple of hours ago, which I'm not too happy about because I'm trying to stay on somewhat of a nocturnal sleeping pattern and this is almost the complete opposite of that. I'm in the mood to be really productive today, but I have a feeling that I won't be able to because Mike will be asleep all day, and I'll have no way to work on new music. I guess I could always try to write lyrics for one of the new songs we've been working on, but I know that probably won't happen. What I'll probably end up doing is wasting time on the internet all day, and not get anything accomplished.

In case you don't know, I started a Misfits, Samhain, and Danzig tribute blog out of boredom: I'm considering getting but that's 10 dollars that I should be spending on plenty of other things. I wouldn't(and probably couldn't) do this with/for any other band or musician, but I've been obsessed with those 3 bands for well over a decade now, and I just thought it would be fun to do.

Right now I'm just killing time while Mike edits and continues to try to figure out ProTools. We're just finishing our fourth song vocally for the Children Of The Night full length. That's 4 songs out of 13. I really wish recording didn't take so long. I go to his house almost every single night and chip away at it, but it's just not enough. If I just had a car during the day, we could both shift our sleeping patterns from being nocturnal, to sleeping all night, and recording all day, which would probably give us another 5 to 6 hours of productivity a day. But, since I have NO income, I just flat out can't contribute whatsoever to the cost of gas.

I posted a link to the very first Energy demo that we recorded in March of 2006 today and to my surprise, over 100 people downloaded it. I'll post it here now for anyone that missed it:

The lineup for this demo was:

Tank - Vocals
Mikey D. - Guitar
Rob Spearin - Guitar
Conor O'Brien - Bass
Burton Wright - Drums

01. Lost And Found
02. Cyanide